Posted in art, Uncategorized

M8 Yer Dugs A Nazi

Some people are really stupid. Some people are really funny. The Scottish Prosecution Service (SPS) falls into the former and Mark Meechan, who posted a hilarious video of his girlfriend’s dog – trained to react pavlovian style to the phrases “gas the Jews” and “siege heil” online in April 2016 – falls into the latter.  Some two years later Mark has been found guilty of a hate crime at Airdrie Sheriff Court; in itself something any sane person would think a joke.

You’ll remember Katie Hopkins calling for pictures of dead refugees and Tommy Robinson labelling an entire ethnic group as evil and you’ll hopefully be of sound body and mind to realise that this is not the same. Not even fucking close.

Unfortunately the powers at the SPS are really dim and now Mark faces possible jail time for having a sense of humour. “You’re always going to get bonkers cases like this” remarks a Sheriff neighbour of mine when I outlined the case to him. How could we? Christ, I feel like blowing an airport sky high!!

I have a dark sense of humour and it’s landed me in trouble a couple times and cost me a job. I didn’t like the job anyway… I digress. Once I was playing around with the idea of writing a food blog post inspired by Jimmy Saville called ‘Cooking With Jimmy Saville’ and I was going to go round the super market looking for really young vegetables. And then my friend Susan suggested I look for deformed young vegetables and cook with them; y’know a carrot with a tiny wiener on it. HAHAHA! SPS would think I’m a paedophile!

But I want to see how far I can push this.

Deep breath

Say what you like about the Nazis, they were efficient and got things done. Plus, they wore awesome clothes. Hugo Boss. Top fashion. I think it would be great if they were around today and had gas chambers and instead of gassing jews they gassed stupid people. Stupid people exactly like the folks at the Scottish Prosecution Service prosecuting Mark. How about the Nazis rounded up the folks at the SPS and just like, you know, gassed them? Hahahaaaa! It would be great! No more stupid people confusing humour with very real and very damaging hate speech where folks get very hurt because people suck goddamit!

As I exhale slowly let’s catch up with Mark who was recently quoted as saying:

I just want everyone to know that I don’t wish any ill-will on any race or anything, it’s just how shock comedy works.

‘It was strictly made to annoy my girlfriend and give my friends something to laugh at.

‘I am so sorry to the Jewish community for any offence I have caused them. This was never my intention and I apologise.

No need to apologise Mark, that’s how humour works. You combine a few ideas like a cute dog and Adolf Hitler and combine them into something much more; humour should explore, not exhort.

What’s happening to us?

@colmcq

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Posted in chinese, ethnic, experimental, fast food, fine dining, fish, food photography, food review, fungi, fusion, holiday food, japanese, oriental, taiwan, Uncategorized

Things I’ve Learned Stuffing Myself In Taiwan

14993559_10154045512027966_8809291375523534925_nStar anise ribs, chicken with chili, potato starch prawns, intestine, stinky tofu and chili, chicken with glutenous rice flour balls, green beans, stir fried squid. 

In Taiwan you will experience things you probably wouldn’t get a chance to in the West; over the past couple weeks I’ve had things like fish jaw, intestines, jellied pork blood, sea urchin and god knows whatever else. Continue reading “Things I’ve Learned Stuffing Myself In Taiwan”

Posted in chinese, ethnic, fast food, food photography, holiday food, oriental, travel

Taiwan Day One

Looks like the only excuses I need to write about food these days are A: when a new variety of cat food comes out or B: when I go travelling abroad.

Seeing as my GF is Taiwanese and hasn’t seen her folks in nearly two years a trip to Taiwan was planned and this is the first of what will be many food travelogueablogs or blaveralallels or blogetraveloparallelograms. Continue reading “Taiwan Day One”

Posted in fine dining, food review, salads, Uncategorized

M&S Lunch Takeaway Disaster

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I was down my local Marks & Spencers fancy supermarket where all the posh office workers go to buy their quinoia salads and asparagus and I was all like “I, too, would like to give the impression that I am posh and have more disposable income that I know what to do with”.

And so it came to pass that the first few minutes of my lunch hour were spent in a daze of confusion as a plethora of ethnic and exotic foods greeted me: honey glazed salmon, mustard infused balsamic dressed edamame, slow roasted ham hock and I was all like “shall I just get a cheese and onion pasty from Greggs?”. But then I walked past the salad section and for a very reasonable price of £2.30 saw a tiny tub of SPIRIT of SUMMER Rice, Aduki Bean, Mango & Coconut Salad and I was all like “uh that looks pretty pretentious and horrible. Let’s prove my simple prejudices correct by buying it” So I did!

On getting back to my professional day job’s IT desk I inspected the inside of the packet:

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It appears the ingredients have infected by camera phone and forced the orientation into portrait. Anyway, how does it taste?

Even before sampling a mouthful I know how it’s going to go down: there will be an annoying taste of raw red pepper and it will smack slightly of Uncle Ben’s Rice Pots.

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In addition, the rice is sticky – in an unwanted sexy way – and the pineapple sauce is really sweet. The Aduki beans could easily pass for rabbit poo and after eating half the tub I give up and toss the packet into the bin.

On the plus side…!

There is no plus side. Stick to Greggs and save yer money. While you’re at it, hook me up on Twitter.

 

Posted in cocktails, interview

All You Need To Know About Cocktails

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On a recent trip to San Francisco I had the pleasure of visiting a most intriguing cocktail bar run by a Mr Timothy Stookey, a veteran of the City’s bar scene. Tim now runs the excellently styled Stookey’s Club Moderne in the center of town and before I drank myself into a coma one evening I suggested he might want to fill me in about all this cocktail business, old-school style.

Which he totally did! Continue reading “All You Need To Know About Cocktails”

Posted in french, fusion, interview, japanese, knives

A Chat With Chef Gohei Kishi

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I was lucky enough to attend the excellent Hyper Japan festival this past weekend in London’s East End and had a rare opportunity to talk to Gohei Kishi, Head of Asian Concepts across the Gordon Ramsay Group, based at maze in Mayfair. Gohei’s role has given him a unique perspective on both classic French and Japanese cuisine and I spent time asking him about flavour combinations, Gordon’s Ramsey’s influence and much more! Continue reading “A Chat With Chef Gohei Kishi”