M&S Lunch Takeaway Disaster

Standard

marks-and-spencer-logo

I was down my local Marks & Spencers fancy supermarket where all the posh office workers go to buy their quinoia salads and asparagus and I was all like “I, too, would like to give the impression that I am posh and have more disposable income that I know what to do with”.

And so it came to pass that the first few minutes of my lunch hour were spent in a daze of confusion as a plethora of ethnic and exotic foods greeted me: honey glazed salmon, mustard infused balsamic dressed edamame, slow roasted ham hock and I was all like “shall I just get a cheese and onion pasty from Greggs?”. But then I walked past the salad section and for a very reasonable price of £2.30 saw a tiny tub of SPIRIT of SUMMER Rice, Aduki Bean, Mango & Coconut Salad and I was all like “uh that looks pretty pretentious and horrible. Let’s prove my simple prejudices correct by buying it” So I did!

On getting back to my professional day job’s IT desk I inspected the inside of the packet:

salad

It appears the ingredients have infected by camera phone and forced the orientation into portrait. Anyway, how does it taste?

Even before sampling a mouthful I know how it’s going to go down: there will be an annoying taste of raw red pepper and it will smack slightly of Uncle Ben’s Rice Pots.

uncle-bens-head-with-logo-banner-size

In addition, the rice is sticky – in an unwanted sexy way – and the pineapple sauce is really sweet. The Aduki beans could easily pass for rabbit poo and after eating half the tub I give up and toss the packet into the bin.

On the plus side…!

There is no plus side. Stick to Greggs and save yer money. While you’re at it, hook me up on Twitter.

 

Bol Keralan Chicken Curry Review

Standard

keralan-coconut-chicken

So ah wuz doon ma local Sainsbury’s uhn a mate hud bought a packet o this stuff un ah thought tae masel “ach, go oan, gee it a go” so ah bought a packet un wuz all thinkin “ah bet this is really bland and poorly thought out and tastes like that other coconut curry I got from Sainsburys”. Read the rest of this entry

All You Need To Know About Cocktails

Standard

2015-12-07-1449509733-5996454-Stookeys_CocktailVirginia_Miller.jpg

On a recent trip to San Francisco I had the pleasure of visiting a most intriguing cocktail bar run by a Mr Timothy Stookey, a veteran of the City’s bar scene. Tim now runs the excellently styled Stookey’s Club Moderne in the center of town and before I drank myself into a coma one evening I suggested he might want to fill me in about all this cocktail business, old-school style.

Which he totally did! Read the rest of this entry

A Chat With Chef Gohei Kishi

Standard

GK-cropped-300x195

I was lucky enough to attend the excellent Hyper Japan festival this past weekend in London’s East End and had a rare opportunity to talk to Gohei Kishi, Head of Asian Concepts across the Gordon Ramsay Group, based at maze in Mayfair. Gohei’s role has given him a unique perspective on both classic French and Japanese cuisine and I spent time asking him about flavour combinations, Gordon’s Ramsey’s influence and much more! Read the rest of this entry

Perfect Beef Rendang

Standard

DSC_0576

As many visitors to this amazing, word class food blog know, I love curry. I’ve had more curries than you’ve had hot cat food dinners, which is at least 12. And on a recent trip to Malaysia I had the honour of attending the excellent Lazat cookery school for three days to learn how to cook amazeballs food.

Read the rest of this entry

Derek Acorah to sue Rhyl town council after getting beaten up by yobbo ghosts.

Standard

oh god

Denbighshire tomorrow, today.

A POPULAR TV psychic was filming in Rhyl this week for the hit TV show ‘Most Haunted’.

The trip was cut short however, after he was found on the pavement of Edward Henry Street flailing his arms and shouting incoherently. When passers by eventually stopped to help, Acorah claimed a gang of Burberry clad ghosts had assaulted him and was admitted to Bodelwyddan hospital.

acyThe TV star was physically unharmed, and discharged himself before being seen to by the psychiatric specialist.

“I should be free to go about my job without the threat of being attacked like this. They approached me and told me I was on their turf, all I wanted to do was find out if they had any messages for the living.” he said.

The only message here was Acorah receiving what he claims are ‘spiritual wounds’. He has begun proceedings to sue the town council and while…

View original post 16 more words