Posted in sweets

Swizzels Matlow GIANT Refreshers


So I was down my local grocery store just there when I saw this brightly coloured orb of sugary delectability staring right up and me. I was powerless to its charms so purchased it instantly and sprinted as hard as I could back to my professional chef’s kitchen to try it.

So, what’s inside the packet?

inside packet

All right! And how’s it taste?

Well, it certainly lemony and sherbetty and generally pretty goddam good! I love sweets, me.

But what to do with such a flavourful item?

And this is where I got a bit stuck because I didn’t want to do obvious things like bake it into a cake or serve it with marshmallows or whatever; I really needed to do something that showcased its unique and unusual flavours. Bereft of ideas I figured I should phone my sister because she’s always cooking great food! ….but then I stopped and realised I would sound totally mental when I told her what I was up to.

So I phoned my mum.

Anyway, she hadn’t a clue what I was on about and suggested I should get a proper job instead.

And this gave me a great idea!

The main flavour is lemon, right? So I bet no one on Earth has ever used a Refresher bar as part of a delicious tomato and basil pasta dish? I mean, am I a creative genius or what!

I begin by chopping the refresher bar into small bits. I hope these will break apart and dissolve during cooking and that’s a mesquite chili right there:

refresher and chilli

I add this with a small chopped clove of garlic to a hot frying pan:

refresher in the pan

Erm, uh, and after ‘sweating down’ for a couple minutes I add half a tin of chopped tomatoes:


As this and my pasta is cooking I very finely chop some parmesan (you can grate too, but I like chopping a’ight):


After the pasta has cooked to a nice al-dente I add everything together and here we go!

finishedSo, how’s it taste?

I am actually ashamed to say it tastes jolly nice. If anything, a touch sickly and it needs salt; after I add this with a wee touch of lime juice for cut, it’s very good. Only negative is I can’t really spot much of the lemon flavour from the Refresher bar which is a shame, maybe I should have put more in.

Overall, if I got this in an Italian restaurant I would never have guessed you’d put in a Refresher bar because that thought wouldn’t be anywhere near my head along with “I wonder if deep sea creatures have massive undersea cities that we just don’t know about yet” or “how come you press harder on a remote when you know the battery is dead?” or even “what would happen if you were put inside a giant microwave?”.

Anyhooose, what did you think? Would you like me to do more of these fun fusion type meals? Go join up at the facebook page and chat about it!

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I write dumb things about food

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