Posted in london, tourism, travel

Hiring a Boris Bike

female boris bike

So I was down in London recently and I got pretty drunk on the train because it was super delayed as usual and when I arrived I had missed the last tube. I figured the best course of action would be to hire a Boris bike and cycle the 5 miles to where I was staying.

Hiring a Boris bike is retarded. It should be a case of enter credit card > pay > get bike. But it’s not. When I put in my card and paid money for 24 hour access it didn’t tell me what to do next and it was only until some Spanish tourist (the fcking irony) came up to me and said that I had to put in my card again and get an access code.

WTF?

Why couldn’t I get the access code in the first place? What utter knobjockey figured that this wasn’t a good idea when I made the payment. I mean, what do you think I’m going to do? Go up to a bike hire stand, pay for bike hire and then just f*cking walk away? Morons.

Anyway, I hired the bike and was surprised at how light the gears were and the fact that I couldn’t go faster than about 15mph on account of my drunken legs spinning out at 100rpm.

So Boris bikes suck.

Food blogging on the way once I figure out what to cook. I’m running out of ideas; maybe you could go to my revamped twitter account and suggest something?

Posted in foraging, human sacrifice, salads

Autumnal Fayre

fayre

So I was wandering around the local park and I took this amazing picture of some leaves and was all teary eyed thinking about the beauty of nature and how wonderful things are. And it got me thinking: nature’s larder is at its most stunning during this incredible season!

Continue reading “Autumnal Fayre”