Posted in British

Mr Brain’s Pork Faggots

packet

My facebook page is always asking me to cook with stuff and a couple of folk suggested these things which I have never heard of. So I got some.

Apparently these are a real “taste of the west country” but on inspecting the packet a bit closer….

pak

… I realised that the design was very reminiscent of something…

thunderbirds  …

thunderbirds2Erm, well look, I think so anyway.

Oh yeah? Well, further research into my Thunderbirds conspiracy revealed that there was even a character called Brains…

brains

Take that Sheeple!

At this stage I had no idea what to cook with Mr Brains for Mr Brains and had to use Google and queries like “thunderbirds brains food” but this didn’t yield anything helpful:

“Crablogger One, a huge tree-felling machine, arrives at base camp in South America in preparation for its first mission. The base commander, Jansen, takes the crew for a meal at a local restaurant in nearby San Martino and all but Jansen have the ‘special’. The next morning, when the Crablogger sets off from the camp, both of the two-man crew collapse, victims of food poisoning, and the Crablogger veers off course, heading straight for San Martino.”

I don’t want food poisoning nor render a small seaside village to rubble, so nothing ‘special’ then.

After a lot of deep thought I came up with a brain (!) wave: I’m going to make an incredibly realistic edible recreation of Tracy Island using a Faggot or two and ingredients from around my professional chef’s kitchen!

What can possibly go wrong?

OK LETS GO!

FIVE…

I commence my mission by assembling the following ingredients: potatoes, broccoli, Mr Brains, ricotta stuffed cherry tomatoes in a plastic tub, black pudding…

5

ingredients

FOUR…

Next, I place the faggots into a hot (180c) oven for 45 minutes!

4

in the oven

THREE…

I steam the broccoli for 5 minutes towards the end of the cooking process…

3

broccoli

Two…

The excitement builds to a fever pitch as I whip some butter and milk into the cooked potatoes!

2

creamy mash

One…Thunderbirds Are Go!

The final step is to assemble all the ingredients together and construct my amazing edible version of Tracy Island….

are go

erm…

tracy island

Annnnnd how does it taste?

I would say this is definitely comfort food; the faggots have a very soft texture and are obviously quite calorific; the taste is peppery and mild but a little sickly. Onto the gravy … this is nice and rich and cuts through the creamy mash. Finally, the broccoli is cooked perfectly and works with the other ingredients apart from the cold black pudding and plastic tub of ricotta stuffed cherry tomatoes which I couldn’t be bothered eating to be honest.

Well, there you have it. I never thought I would incorporate pork faggots and Thunderbirds in a blog post but I like to keep folks guessing. But what did you think? Have you eaten faggots? Would Putin like them? How would you cook them? Head over to facebook and tell other food luvvers…!

Or twatter

Author:

I write dumb things about food

2 thoughts on “Mr Brain’s Pork Faggots

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