As readers of this foodblog know, I am a stickler for good food presentation as it is often said “the first bite is with the eye”….
A food fan @westendreviews retweets…
“@MarthaStewart: Iceberg wedge with homemade Russian dressing. Perfect salad for the onion soup lunch pic.twitter.com/umW5yvdF89” 
I have no idea who Martha Stewart is, but she probably studied Pollock, Twonbly et all and has obviously worked super hard getting the individual pieces in this abstract art work to sit just right; I love how she didn’t simply opt to shred the iceberg lettuce and mix through the dressing as any normal person would do, or arrange the meat/mouldy cheesecake/unidentified objects in the background into a more incongruous location, or have, I dunno, bread with her soup. Martha obviously decided that the only way forward was to arrange the iceberg into the shape of a shark and throw the sauce around the plate with the same carefree abandon as a crack addled rabbit with a hosepipe. Martha calls this work “Abstractions in DMinor”.
Anyway foodbloggers, proper update tomorrow, but I want YOUR CAPTIONS for this incredible artwork. Best one wins tin of cat food.
So off to the comments section wit ye!
Another goddam foodblog 
Sorry if this is obvious but is this a before or an after picture? Before or after eating it, I mean.
No idea don
The obvious question to ask is ‘What is it and is it edible?’.
An alien
Is this what happens when you don’t treat yeast infections when you’re a woman?
If Mr Blobby has the capability of shooting his load, I’d suggest that this is the result of a quick fifty flick session over the plate.