Hershey’s Milk Chocolate

As my fellow food bloggers know I am now in the US of A trying to assimilate myself with their amazing foodstuffs as rapidly as possibly. To wit, I thought I would start with America’s national dish, Hershey’s chocolate!

So, what’s inside the packet and how’s it taste?

Hershey’s chocolate, compared to Great British chocolate, is inferior; it is granular and tastes a bit like cheese. America, you should be ashamed of yourself! Once again, the Great British have shown you how to do something and you’ve cocked it up, much like you did with our rounders, netball and rugby which you turned into ridiculous playground games which no one understands and which require no skill.

Any whu-hey, what am I going to do with this amazing bar of what you American’s call ‘chocolate’?

I reckon I’m going to run with that cheesy flavor and include it in another USA fave…Pizza! Correct, I’m going to make some kind of chocolate flavoured pizza along with these ingredients:

Tomato sauce, hot sauce, purple basil, mozzarella balls.

And I’m going to go with a shop bought dough because my home-style chef friend I’m staying with reckons this is easier and produces pretty good results…

Now, as many visitors to this blog know, I have my fingers firmly wedged in the pages of the latest food technology advice and I’ve been told that the secret to a good pizza is a very hot oven; this gives the most elastic base without it drying out too much. So here’s my plan…

I’m going to start by cooking the pizza base + toppings in a baking tray over a very hot hob for about two minutes (I would have preferred a frying pan with a thicker base but there wasn’t that option):

This started off OK, but because the baking tray was so thin, everything overheated very quickly and began burning even over the space of taking this photograph…but hey ho…onward we march etc etc.

To finish cooking I’m going to transfer the flaming pizza under a grill running at full tilt for another four minutes….and here’s the final result!

Um, OK.

And how’s my chocolate pizza taste?

Amazingly, the by-now-caramelized Hershey’s chocolate isn’t at all bad and I think would work maybe as a shaved topping along with some parmesan cheese! But the rest of the pizza is a bit of a joke, I mean, just look at the baking tray:

Done to a turn!

But I still maintain this could have worked if I’d had a thicker tray… I’m so angry about this I could punch a bear! I’m madder than a box of smashed crabs!!

Luckily my home-style chef friend was chuckling away to herself during my antics and has made us all a proper pizza:

Batman was super impressed BTW.

So fellow food fans…have you tried Hershey’s? Do you like it? Or maybe you’re American and disagree about how silly your sports are? Either way, I have a Facebook page where you could put your spin on things and even a Twitter account you could set fire to.

I also blog at Huffpost every now and again.