Right food fans, they’re having an office bake-in (or bake-off, I dunno which) next week and I need ideas for what to bake and feed my colleagues. Must be edible, interesting and not likely to get me fired.
ps, have some er, very colourful music from Japan that isn’t Babymetal
Another goddam foodblog 
Baking can be boring. Chocolate cake – caster sugar sprinkled – treacle toffee topping. YAWN! I think I would like to see you make a cake with thai flavours, like a really hot green curry prawn sponge cake. Obviously with lemongrass, galangal, green chilli, fish sauce, prawns. With a topping of crushed prawn crackers and ginger. That will definitely not get you fired. That will win you love. Guaranteed.
Lobster, you should write for this blog!
Freakin yeah. Sure. How about we swap? My job could to an outsider sound wild. You get to be a) in Melbourne (where all the world class pretentious “foodies” apparently live. B) I kid you not … You get to carry around a business card calling you a “Senior Investigator”. Even better… You get to investigate stuff. Okay, so our success rate is extremely lame, but it is more about the journey… and the salary. So, in return I get to do whatever it is you do, and make a sponge cake with fish sauce and a prawn cracker topping. And then write some stuff about it. Which is a dream because I have this weird feeling my green curry cake plan could actually be the next BIG thing. And you know I mean BIG because I used capital letters on the b, the I, and the g. In my world, that means BIG. Incidentally, I don’t really know how to cook cakes – I don’t have much of a sweet tooth – but my mum gave me this massive, wild good 70’s book about baking with step by step stuff and photos, so I think this is a solid plan.
even though my world famous blog has done incredibly well and got into newspapers across the world it is a bit lame at generating income, suffice to say i couldnt afford a flight to melbourne. But I’m totally into you writing something here. Have a think and get back to me. c
Noted. This deserves deliberation. So I’m deliberating. Wait on – how come you aren’t rich? I thought noted food writers just sort of take off? Like smitten mittens or whatever. And that guy David Levowatsit. And that other guy, though I forget his name, but I’m dead certain he is big. And wasn’t there some slightly tedious movie about some chick who cooked all the recipes in some book by some person as played by Meryl Streep? I figure it must only be a zen-like thing of waiting for the moment. (btw I’m not really a zen expert … I pretty much made that bit up).
if had bothered to optimise the search for ads, then yes, I might be a bit richer. but i couldnt be bothered.