During my daily errands to my local Tesco Metro I will at some point walk past a tin of Fray Bentos but I have never really considered it an actual foodstuff so mostly ignore it. But all that changed when I had a dream last night where I was on top of a mountain and it was being attacked by Fray Bentos alien flying saucers and I was trying to shoot them down with vegetables, forks and copies of Gordon Ramsey’s latest cookery book. The metaphors were too strong to ignore, I simply had to buy!
So, what’s inside the tin?
Erm, I see.
The first thing I notice is that the meat smells a bit like cat food and doesn’t really look any better. The pastry is uncooked and is very dense so I’m going to have to think pretty hard about what to do here.
After quite a while and because the cat food thing got stuck in my head, I reckon I’m going to do something quite radical with Mr Bentos: a spicy terryaki stir-fry with tom yum noodle soup!
This is going to be incredible!
First, I’m going to get the pastry (hereafter known simply as ‘Bentos’) cooking in the oven (190C, 25mins):
Next I chop 2 birdseye chilies; I want this baby to have a kick!
And mix this with some lemongrass to the meat of the Fray Bentos (hereafter known simply as ‘Fray’):
(corriander for laterz)
So fast forward about 25 mins and I think my Bentos is ready:
Next I add water to the noodles:
an while this cooks through I start with the stir-fry:
Oooh, sexy.
That’s done after 3 mins on a v high heat after which I serve with the Bentos and noodles et voila:
Tom yum noodle soup with spicy lemon grass Fray terryaki topped with a luxury Bentos crouton
annnnnd how’s it taste?
By and large the combination of the Bentos and noodles is an unexpected winner, it goes soggy, of course, but in a weird good way; the noodles have that nice lime leaf flavour which is a bonus so this part of the dish is a pass! On the other hand, the meat of the Fray has quite a nasty taste which I now identify as one of the horrible flavours in the cat food I tried last month, it must be the kidneys I suppose; Fray is also a bit chewy. Alas, this part of the dish is a fail. Terryaki sauce is nice, mind.
So, mixed results. Not a big fan of the meat in Fray Bentos but the pastry is good so maybe just use that for something or other?
Anyway, what dreams have you recently had? Did you cook with them? Are you dreaming right now? I will visit you in your dreams tonight. Or Fray Bentos will.
Report your dreams on my Facebook page or even Twitter.
I also blog over at Huffpost.
Another goddam foodblog 
That’s a wacky dream! There’s a scene in my book The Missing Fridge where I rescue Elvis Presley from being assaulted by psychotic hedgehogs and invite him round to my place for a Fray Bentos.
As much as I liked your blog though, I can’t help thinking that fiddling about with lemon grass and the such is no way to treat one of the world’s great pies. You should just bung them in the oven and let the pastry puff up and enjoy. (I’m more of of a Beef and Ale man myself by the way.)
aye, I thought about that and then I was all like, nah, lets go leftfield. Almost worked…almost.
Reblogged this on johnhigson and commented:
I really love this blog, it’s so funny, and even though it will quite probably render it doomed forever to the most wretched obscurity, I hereby grant the official John Higson seal of approval.