So I’ve been watching a lot of Countryfile on BBC lately and watching all those cows and sheep got me thinking “cows and sheep must love grass”
This was all the inspiration I needed for my next incredible culinary adventure: lets cook something with grass!
Now, the thing is, I live in an apartment complex in Glasgow City center so I don’t have a garden which is where I ran into a slight logistical problem when I figured the sight of some dude in the middle of Glasgow Green, on hands and knees, in the middle of the day, ripping out tufts of grass and stuffing them in his pockets might, you know, look a bit strange: “what can he possibly want with that grass”.
So I had to construct a cunning ruse to make it seem like I wasn’t doing anything too suspicious. Suffice to say *I did and here’s the result of my foraging adventure:
After giving it a good rinse I have a taste. The first thing you notice about eating grass is not the flavour but how unbelievably chewy and tough and fibrous it is. Now I know why cows have 8 stomachs. Deary me. The taste on the other hand is very subtle, a little peppery, a little citrus-y and little apple-ee-ee, but very very slight.
So, any ideas what I’m going to turn this green into?
Hey Pesto! I’m sorry. I’m going to use it in a very special pesto sauce so I nip off to my local Tesco Metro to source what I need; parmesan cheese, oilve oil, and instead of pine nuts I’m going to use
WASABE PEAS YES PLEASE
So I put all the ingredients into a bowl:
FYI the combination of open bowl, hand held blender and wasabe peas warranted safety goggles; bits of pea, grass and permesan bounce around my professional chef’s kitchen like I’m stuck in some bizarre pea war.
So, how’s it taste.
It. Is. HORRIBLE. The combination of wasabe peas and pasta and, well, everything else, is just bad. Really bad. The grass, because it has been blended, now tastes super grassy and adds to the overall horribleness. But the very worse comes when I realise I AM EATING GRASS! FROM GLASGOW GREEEN! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!!
So, overall a bit of a failure so I wouldn’t recommend you eat grass. But you probably knew that anyway.
*I might tell you what the ruse was, one day.