Posted in sweets

Uncle Joe’s Mint Balls – Keep you all aglow


I was at my friend’s house when I chanced across this highly unusual foodstuff and thought once upon myself I ought to sample such delights!

I thought it appropriate to inspect the inside of the packet and sample the most curious sweet fayre:

inside packet

Sweet, minty, perhaps tasting like Werther’s Original. I say, what a fine confection to be had on this fine Thursday afternoon!

But what to do with such dainty morsels of purest sugary perfection?

Alas my professional chef’s kitchen friend offered little by way of complimentary ingredients and returned but the following:


It appears that all I have to cook with is some chopped onions! Egadz sirrah! This is going to be a most challenging!

After much deep cogitation I decide to make a sweet, minty variation of fried onions. Yes indeed, minty, caramelised onoins! May I meekly suggest I shall be making munions or oninints; a revolutionary savoury, yet sweet treat.

I commence my unusual cooking experiment by applying considerable force with a saucepan to said Uncle Joe’s Mints until they verily disintegrate into more cook worthy particles:


And I add these to a frying pan containing my Tesco Pre-Chopped-For-Lazy-People-Onions:


After about 10 minutes of sauteing on a medium heat and when the onions and mint balls have combined and caremlised together I artfully serve:


And how does this most wonderous culinary creation taste?

By my beard! I am humbly delighted to admit my munions/onints are edible! Maybe a trifle sweet, but nevertheless quite edible! My only complaint is that I was somewhat remiss not allowing the onions to caramelise a smidgeon longer as the crispitudinessness is slightly lacking, what what!

OK, we can drop posh Victorian voice now.

And cue the music!

Erm, as that’s playing, what did you think of my munions/onints/amazing creation? Do you think I should have used a different vegetable? Like a radish, or um, a pineapple? Or maybe lamb? Do you know I am up for best british food blog? Yeah, I know you were all like “this post was the best food writing I have ever seen. That Girl Called Jack, with her, her… book deal and writing for the Guardian and busking with Billy Brag…she…she better watch out, you know, cos this guy…he’s not bitter, no he’s not bitter or angry and not out for REVENGE oh no…no he’s going places he’s gonnna win this thing and he’s had far too much coffee and HE’S GOING TO SHOW YOU JACK MUNROE AND THE GUARDIAN!”

*wipes spit off keyboard*

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I write dumb things about food

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